Just plain dumb

7 Jul

Just because I have official brain damage doesn’t mean that I get a “free pass” when I make a stupid decision. Some decisions are so patently/obviously just-plain dumb, dumb, dumb, that no amount of organic tissue destruction can rightly be blamed for the erroneous output.

At the same time, there are few (if any) decisions that are so deeply flawed that they can’t be mended in some way.

There are two (2) Just Plain Dumb situations currently swirling about me. The first is entirely my own fault and impacts me –and YOU, dear reader– deeply, but I know how to fix it. The second is not my fault at all, but it may impact me even MORE deeply, and I have very little clue about how to fix it, but maybe you can help.

Ready? Here we go…

Problem #1 – My Fault

There are 24 hours in a day (168/wk) and I MUST spend at least 9 of those hours asleep each day. That leaves 105 hours. Of these:

  • 28 go to work/commute
  • 8 go to classroom/commute time
  • 20 go to studying
  • 15 go to riding.

All of these things are 100% totally NOT negotiable — at least not now (the problem arose when I decided to schedule my class for “Session A” of UCLA’s ridiculously stupid, grueling, 6-week summer jam session rather than USING MY BRAIN and scheduling myself for Session C, late summer, instead — stupid, stupid, stupid!). Added together, these now non-negotiables leave me with 34 hours, or ~4.8 hours per day to: eat, clean, walk the dog, socialize, run errands, chill, and write this blog. It’s do-able(ish) in a normal month, but in July? Not a chance.

July = Tour de France = Mandatory TV watching.

Before I became a bike addict, I did not even own a TV. I bought the damn thing for the exact and specific purpose of being able to watch pro cycling events (‘cuz they don’t show those at sport bars!). TdF watching = my #1 favorite chill-out activity. Next to actual cycling, watching the mesmerizing colors of the TdF riders spinning along soul-soothing, bucolic European roads accompanied by the dulcet tones of Phil Ligget, Bob Roll, Paul Sherwen, and, this year, Christian Vande Velde is even more effective at re-setting and calming me than any brain-numbing FX-channel movie.

The Live TdF broadcast is ~6 hours. If I start watching about 2.5 hours into it and fast-forward through all of the commercials, I can cut my watching time down to 3.5 hours and still catch the real-time finish, but that means I only have 1.3 hours into which I must compress the rest of my life each day.

Tour de France  2012 stage - 16

  • I can (and do) eat breakfast & dinner while I walk the dog and lunch is no problem because on working days I just eat at my desk and on non-working days, I eat “pocket food” while I ride.
  • I live in CA, so it’s always convertible weather, which means I can dry my hair while I commute.
  • And once my hair is dry, I can put up the top and take care of phone calls during the rest of my drive-time

Smooshing these necessary life activities into one another leaves me ~0.4hours/day to socialize and/or write this blog. It’s impossible to do either of these things in 0.4 hour spurts. The socializing thing usually requires at least a 2-hour investment, and I know that every single one of you is fairly adamant that I must continue to engage in the bizarre rituals required by the 21st century dating world. Thus, I will continue to hoard/accumulate 2 hours to give away to some dude at some point each week, even though that yields a less-than-satisfactory situation for the parties involved…


That leaves me <0.8 per week to blog.

I’ve already clocked 0.5 on this post, and I haven’t even told you about Problem #2!

I think we can all agree where this is leading with regards to Problem #1, right?

That’s right: No blog for you until the end of July — unless someone can figure out how I can bend time in your favor.

All flux-capacitor-related Comments are welcome and encouraged. Let’s see whatchya got, internets…

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