My “Bonus”

3 Jan
My "Bonus" and the FB posting that got a *crazy* amount of "Likes"

My “Bonus” and the FB posting that got a CRAZY amount of “Likes”

In February 2012, just a few days after my 39th birthday, I took a 22.5 hour LAX-JFK-LAX trip in order to attend a sudden, terrible, heart-wrenching funeral for a dear friend/colleague. He committed suicide. That’s a stunning statement in its own right, but it was all the more stunning given who he was up until the moment he took his life … he was a giver through-and-through, an innovative, visionary, and compassionate justice seeker, a champion who personified excellence in all aspects of his life, an athlete, a gentleman, a raconteur par excellence, and –as it turned out– an adorable romantic as well.

I did not know about this latter element of my friend’s personality until the funeral, when several speakers took care to mention that he and his wife always called each other “Bonus.”

Bonus! What a wonderful way to describe one’s life-mate! The term has stuck with me ever since and it most definitely applies to the dude pictured with me above: My Bonus for 16 years, Mr. Jay.

I’ve actually known Jay for more than 22 years (what?! how is that possible?!), but he’s officially been my “Bonus” since January 3, 1997. The legend that I posted alongside our photo on Facebook reads as follows:

For 16 years, Jay has stood by my side for adventures and challenges that included: law school, my cross-country move, our long distance commuter relationship while he got his MBA, my 2-year hiatus in Ukraine, funerals and divorces of several of our friends, the death of our first dog, the couple months when I was homeless due to flooding, all of my bicycling accidents, a whole bunch of international travel, and now my forthcoming dramatic life-plan change. The dude deserves a massive bronze or marble statue erected to honor his brave devotion. Instead, I’ll just take him out to dinner and wish him a very happy anniversary.

At the time of this blog posting, the photo had been up for ~10 hours and had received 106 “Likes.”

106 “Likes” is nearly twice the # I received when I notified my FB Nation that I had been released from ICU and was certain to liveย (if not exactly flourish)ย after my skull-smashing, which *I* thought was pretty much the best, most miraculous, “Like”-worthy news ever! ย But …

Apparently it is even MORE miraculous and/or “Like”-worthy that I managed to sustain a healthy, happy relationship with this dude for 16 years despite all the challenges outlined above — which is actually a pretty fair assessment, I guess.

What can I say? The guy really is my Bonus. He gives freely of himself to me and he adds a little something extra to all that I do, or attempt to do. And I guess now he’s *your* bonus, too, because you are now getting an extra blog post today because of him.

He’s a giver, that Jay. I love him to pieces and I can’t wait to go out and celebrate with him tonight.

2 Responses to “My “Bonus””

  1. Anonymous January 3, 2013 at 7:40 pm #

    and he’s a great bro…reward him as he deserves.

    • justadventures January 3, 2013 at 7:51 pm #

      We’re going to Pauley for the game instead doing a boring fancy dinner. He’s quite happy about this surprise!

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