Don’t believe the hype

22 Sep

All my life, you people have told me how smart I am and somewhere along the line I started to believe you.

Y’all are nuts! I don’t know where this whole “CZ is smart” myth got started and I certainly have no idea how it’s managed to perpetuate itself for so long. It was a nice illusion while it lasted (I guess), but the numbers are in and they don’t lie:

People: I sucked at law school!

And thanks to your crazy-assed hype (and me being stupid enough to somehow buy into it), my whole “doctorate in occupational therapy” plan might be in real jeopardy.

Here’s the blurb from the OT Admissions Criteria:

Don’t believe the hype

All applicants to the program must: Complete a baccalaureate degree with a minimum cumulative grade point average (GPA) of 3.0 from an accredited college or university. *Note: If you completed a graduate degree we will consider your graduate GPA instead of your undergraduate GPA.

Up until ~2 hours ago I had taken this bit for granted. I was “brilliant” and “always did well” in school — or so you told me, and so I believed. So, of course this particular pre-req would be a no brainer (pun intended? maybe…)

Well, guess what? We were wrong.

I just got a copy of my W&M transcript. It shows that my cumulative GPA, the one and only GPA that counts for my OT application, was … (anti)drum-roll, please…..



Point ZERO.


G-damn and hooo-whee! If I shaved it any closer, I’d be needing Neosporin and stitches!

W.T.F, man?

Where were all of my “As”?ย 

I see an “A-” for CrimLaw in Fall of my 2L year (yay?), but I did not achieve any true “As” –the As that y’all taught me to believe I’d always achieved– until my 3L year when I managed to nab just one (1) each semester:

  • Law & American Lit in the Fall, and
  • Law & Social Justice in the Spring

Dang, man. That is sad on so many levels!

Virtually NO “As” in law school = sad lesson in personal history + getting As in those two particular classes — literature and social justice — jeezohman, why not just bathe my aching heart in salt-and-lemon juice!! I mean, it’s nice to have validation for the fact that apparently Iย do have a long-standing talent for writing and do-gooder-ism, but the fact that I am in the process of willfully eschewing those skills….

Ah, sigh.

It is what it is.

The bell cannot be un-rung.

And now that I appreciate the true resonance of my ding-a-ling status, I feel ever-more-committed and inspired to try to do right by you (and by me, or –more importantly– to the future me). I will now try my utmost to deliver some truly remarkable numbers that will have real meaning and import on my future plans: I have 8 more days to figure out how to blow the lid off the GRE.

Let’s do this!

It’s GO time now, for sure, and you won’t be hearing from me until after I pass it and collect my proverbial $200 (to mix a metaphor).



7 Responses to “Don’t believe the hype”

  1. Anonymous September 23, 2014 at 10:01 am #

    Okay CZ…… enough! If you think your GPA score is so much more important than all the things you have thus far accomplished in your lifetime…..getting your law degree, helping Holocaust Victims, helping countless people with their legal problems who would otherwise have had no help at all, helping the countless Veterans, etc. etc., then you are dumber than I thought!!!!! OMG, stop beating yourself up over something that f_ _ _ king ridiculous! Now you’re pissing me off!

    • justadventures September 23, 2014 at 10:14 am #

      I’m not beating myself up about it. I’m just struggling with how to present all of that “other” information to the Admissions Office Monkey who (a) doesn’t know me, (b) will be judging me entirely on paper, and (c) has limited details regarding the situations you have mentioned.

      My life does not present itself neatly into the the little fixed forms offered by the admissions committee. They are trained to look for specific things. I don’t have those things. I have “better” things, yes, but getting those “better things” to them = an interesting challenge and, of course, it’s one that I am up for.

      So, calm the f*ck down, Bobbye.

      This post was designed to remind people that life doesn’t always go according to script; even when we think we’ve got it nailed down…

  2. Yvan Ung September 23, 2014 at 12:32 pm #

    How far did you go through law school? Did you finish 1L? 2L? 3L (and therefore the whole thing)?

    Just pray that OT schools won’t take in account the law school grading curve…

    • justadventures September 23, 2014 at 1:49 pm #

      Yes, I finished. I’ve been practicing for 17 years and made partner in 2009. So that should count for something, I hope!

  3. Anonymous September 26, 2014 at 11:23 pm #

    Aโ‰ smart

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