You said it, buddy

13 Jan

Holy mother of donkey. What the frack happened to my head? Hurts. So much. Must find food. 

My dog these wood floors are loud. Each. Friggin. Step… so.much.pain…

Why is he still asleep?

This is all his fault.

Two Mexican margaritas + a half bottle of wine = 3x as much booze as I’d had in over a year. #worstcoachever

PLOP. I flung my full weight down onto his futon. 

DOINK. He sat up in alarm and looked just about as bad as I felt, but he smiled kindly and said: Good morning, CZ. We’re both alive, so that’s good.

Yeah, OK, if you say so. Let’s go make some breakfast, buddy…

Dagfrigginblammit! The stove doesn’t work. Oh, and there’s no hot water. (not)Awesome. <why won’t my head stop pounding…>

Well, there’s an electric kettle and a French press, so at least the #1 priority need can be met. And I can make a mean microwave omelette. So, we’ll be fine. Slice up some avocados will ya?

It’s always good to travel with someone whose dietary needs are synched with your own. Got eggs, cheese, avocados, tortillas, and caffeine? Great. We’re set for days and our hangovers have no hope of lasting. #goteam

It’s 8:50am, we should probably go meet Erin. Do you have normal-people shoes, I don’t think flip flops will cut it for horseback riding…. ok, then, mtb cleats it is! Way to improvise, buddy. 🙌🏼

What? NO, we are not driving there! It’s a 5-10min walk. On dirt roads. That are now more like muddy streams after last night’s storm. What is wrong with you? Come on….

15min later, at the top of the hill, with no horses in sight, just the housing development guard shack, CZ busts out some rusty Spanglish while PP simmers and insists that we should have driven — Oh, really? Because being in a car right now will somehow magically transform our navigation skills?!? Give me a break

No, Mr. Security Guard, I don’t think Martha’s Horses are the same as José’s, but that tip might be a step in the right direction. Gracias, señor

We cross the “street” and more Spanglish and charades ensue between CZ and the Martha manager and ~5 min later…

OK, PP, I’ve got it now. Follow me! 

We walk back down the hill and about 20′ away from where PP’s car is parked is what looks to be a cow trail or something similar. All rocks and holes and mud: This way, buddy!

I really think we should drive, CZ. 

No way, buddy. He said down by the river and to the left. Do you see any roads going that direction? No. So, come on. Trust me….

We walk in silence for about 4mins. I could practically feel the skepticism oozing from him while I sauntered merrily along, confident in my Spanish-understanding skills (so what if my Spanglish speaking is sprinkled with Russian…). I feel confident, but, just in case, I check in with a guy who is tending a cactus garden. After smiling at my mangled Spanglish, he revealed that he spoke perfect English and confirmed that we were on the right path… the sheep will soon be on our right and then the brown barn door of José’s would be on our left. Erin is a blonde lady. We’d see her for sure.

I grinned triumphantly at PP. He didn’t exactly apologize for his truculence, but he begrudged that he was glad that I was right and allowed that it was good that we didn’t drive.

Erin and José greeted us warmly and offered us a beer (at 9:35am!). We declined and instead mounted our ponies–me with a helmet, him without. One day he’ll follow my lead on that, too, but today was not the day to fight that battle. 

During our 35min “detour” while trying to find Erin, José, and the horses, the weather gods concluded their morning meeting and decided to gift us with a perfect day: 68* and sunny, cool breeze, and sparkling blue skies.

Erin lead us through the estuary en route to the beach. We marveled at nature’s gifts, including the proliferation of bird life. It was prime migratory season, so the creek was at maximal diversity–loons, egrets, ibises, herons, all manner of gulls, hawks, ospreys, “but no pelicans, right?” I choked out in a horror-tinged effort at humor.

Oh yes! Erin exclaimed with great glee and pride. Two really big ones came in just a few days ago. They’re white pelicans. I’m told they are very rare….

I became temporarily catatonic. PP seized the opportunity: Really? Can we see them? CZ loves pelicans….

Still stunned and horrified and now totally f:cking pissed but not wanting to come off as a crazy shrew in front of Erin and José, I remained mute and hoped that some sort of massive natural disaster might save me from the pelican finding adventure that PP just instigated…

Erin explained to José that we’d like to see the pelicans and would it be OK to take the horses off the usual route. Stupid f:cking José said sí, por supuesto and approximately 6min later there they were and they were Really F:CKING HUGE! 

My heart rate climbed into the 180-range. I engaged all of my mindfulness powers to keep myself from crying and/or shitting my pants. I even kinda joked and said: “Uh. Yeah. They are lovely birds, so long as they stay right there on the water”–which one of the birds took as his/her cue to take off and start flying at turbo speed straight at us.

My heart rate soared well past 200 and I blacked out. 

Somehow I did not fall off the horse and the next thing I knew PP was laughing his damn fool head off and Erin was apologizing (bc apparently PP eventually confessed that this was all just an evil ruse to toy with my neurosis) and José was chuckling softly as he patted me on the back saying No se preocupe. Es ok

I hope you liked your little joke, PP, because you know that you just cut at least an hour off of our mountain bike ride with that stunt. My heart can’t take that level of strain.

Oh, I’m sorry CZ, but–yeah–it was totally worth it….

You suck, PP. I sometimes wonder why I keep you around.

And with that we resumed our amiable ride, mainly in silence, totally content to view the Mexican estuary and the mountains surrounding it from the backs of our steeds who soon enough led us here: 

And when that happens, nothing else matters and all is right in the world. 

You know what, PP?

What, CZ?

This does not suck.

No, it does not. Not one little bit and it is nothing like I expected this trip to be. Life is pretty good, CZ.

You said it, buddy.


4 Responses to “You said it, buddy”

  1. katerinadiaviano January 13, 2017 at 5:56 pm #

    Thanks for sharing your adventure. Why don’t you like pelicans? We are off to the Big Island for a week on Monday. Come up here any time, kid.

    • justadventures January 13, 2017 at 6:01 pm #

      I have no good reason for disliking pelicans other than the fact that they are flying dinosaurs with massive beaks that will clearly chomp my head off if given the opportunity. I’m hoping to head your way around my birthday(ish)–just need to sort out some school stuff first. Have fun in Hawaii!


  1. Scraps & Crap | JustAdventures - January 14, 2017

    […] other: I declared an immediate and urgent need to nap due to the stress/trauma brought on by the pelican situation; he gratefully seized the opportunity to finish his book = […]

  2. A sky filled with hot firefighters… | JustAdventures - March 9, 2017

    […] BB/PP) attempted to induce an aneurysm/stroke in my already precarious system with his little let’s go see the pelicans “joke” while we were in Mexico at the end of last year….. (click the link if […]

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